Fate or Destiny
by GryffindorSeekerMerlin
Summary: "Merlin looked at the shimmering water with teary eyes, as his heart ripped apart, piece by piece. How could this happen? How could he fail in his destiny? How could his destiny fail in him?"
1. Chapter 1- The News

**Chapter 1: The News**

It had been a week since Arthur's death. Seven days since she had received word that her husband had lost the battle. She was in mourning; she couldn't think of anything else; certainly not the fact that she was now ruler of Camelot.

Guinevere sat on her bed, her legs crossed, very unlike a queen. Tears were streaming down her face as she touched old weapons of Arthur. A sword could be pushed through her chest right now, and she would feel no pain. Her entire body ached to see her husband once more. And she would not be granted her wish.

A knock on her grand wooden door disturbed her thoughts.

"Milady, may I come in?" Sir Leon's voice echoed throughout her chambers.

Gwen grasped her red sheets in her knuckles, until her hand turned white. She took a very deep breath and exhaled shakily. She was about to see another human for the first time since she had been crowned. She had even dismissed her servant for a few weeks at the crowning "celebration". Although she wasn't sure if she would be able to handle talking, she tentatively called out, "C-come in…"

The door locks unbolted and a creaking sound rang in Gwen's ears. Sir Leon walked in, still holding a posture as a knight would. His expression, however, was blank. Not sad, not solemn; a blank void. He looked at Gwen, looking for approval. When she slightly nodded her head, he sat down on the edge of the bed, taking him back to when he was a child and Gwen was a servant in his house. When Arthur was still alive. He shook himself out of his morbid thoughts and cleared his throat. "My majesty, you still have some mourning time. I completely understand your situation," Gwen looked up at this, a look of gratefulness on her face. Ideally, Gwen should have taken control of the kingdom two days after she was crowned. However, Sir Leon being the friend he was, was willing to rule the mourning kingdom. Gwen was about to speak up at this, looking like a wounded child, when Leon interrupted," Gwen, there's more. Sir Percival arrived earlier this morning."

Gwen looked up at this, a look of confusion on her face. "He disappeared?"

Leon looked shocked at this. Quickly composing himself, he responded, "Um, yes Milady. After he found out which way Morgana had been heading, he headed out," Leon continued, "He had some news."

"My majesty, Gwaine is dead."

Gwen looked up. Her face collapsed. Tears started streaming down her face, memories with the humorous knight flashing through her mind. Most of the Knights of the Round Table were _dead_. And the worst part? Gwen hadn't even realized Gwaine had gone. For seven days, Gwen had sheltered herself from the world, like a miserable animal, not caring about anything or anyone. Taking another shaky breath, she asked another question, hoping the answer would be no.

"Is there anyone else unaccounted for?"

Sir Leon looked taken aback at this, dreading the answer he was about to give.

"Merlin."


	2. Chapter 2- Coming Home?

**Chapter 2- Coming Home?**

Merlin looked at the shining blue waters of Lake Avalon before turning around. How could he bear to look at the final resting place of his best friend; his Once and Future King? Arthur had depended on him- _Albion _had depended on him. Merlin looked at the shimmering water with teary eyes, as his heart ripped apart, piece by piece. How could this happen? How could he fail in his destiny? How could his _destiny_ fail in him?

So many people had died in the journey of giving the prophecy to Merlin, but Merlin felt that he blatantly disregarded it, had tried feverishly to deny it. Merlin's eyes flashed to the sword with a pang as he remembered the man who once wielded it. Merlin hesitated and then picked up the gold sword and did exactly what the sword instructed. He cast it away into the depths of Lake Avalon, not only casting away the sword, but also casting away the painful memories of the man who had wielded the sword. Merlin took one last look at the lake before turning away in a sharp fashion.

'_Should I go back to Camelot?' _Merlin thought as he made his way to the forest where Arthur had taken some of his final breaths. He knew that he would have to contemplate this question with the deepest thoughts, but for now, he would camp near the lake. Even if he did plan to go back to Camelot, he still had to pay his final tributes to his friend. Merlin would camp near Avalon for a few days and remember all the good times that Merlin had shared with his beloved friend. He would think about his destiny, and all that they had accomplished- and all they had not. '_I barely have anything to go back to in Camelot. My life used to be there. I have lost so many people; not even _including _Arthur. How could I go back to the place of my misery, the place of my despair?' _Merlin ran this dark thought through his head while he picked up firewood that was suitable to use for a fire that could last throughout the night. Merlin sighed as his eyes glowed a golden ember and watched as the subtle colors of the fire transformed into a majestic dragon. '_How could I _not _go back to the place of my happiness, my friends, my _life_? Everything that I have ever loved is there; everything that transformed me into the man that I am now is in Camelot. I was born to go to Camelot- how can I just forget about all that I have there?' _ He couldn't. It was blunt, yet it was the truth. While he didn't have as much living there as he did before, Merlin still had much to go back to. His mentor, Gaius, stayed there, and he was probably sitting alone at the table with Merlin's favorite meal, with a bowl that could possibly stay there for the rest of eternity. Merlin's first friend lived there. For that was what she was- before she was the Queen of Camelot, she was Merlin's friend, and Merlin hoped that it would always stay that way. It was unthinkable to abandon her in her time of need, when she was as lost as him, with a terrible weight on her shoulders, a weight that equaled the burden of ruling a whole kingdom. And then there was Leon, a man who Merlin always respected, a man who always did the noble thing first and foremost. He had been in Camelot since the beginning of Merlin's journey, and so had Gwen. There was Percival, the newest addition to their group, and one of the last that was alive. And finally, there was Gwaine. Gwaine was Merlin's best friend; other than Arthur, and possibly Gwen. He protected Merlin through the thick and the thin and stuck by his side, even offering comic relief in the worst of moments. Merlin's eyes filled with tears at the thought of his strong friend, and he made his decision. He couldn't go back. He could never face his friends again.


End file.
